Thank you for choosing to stay with us! However, we have a few guidelines we'd love for you to adhere to while you stay here:

 

1. When you arrive, please wait for the door to open by itself. Do not open the door until the House is ready.
2. When you step inside, there will be two complimentary drinks waiting for you. DO NOT DRINK THE GREEN ONE.
3. Never enter the attic. If you do, do not look up, as They are hiding.
4. If you see any dark red stains on the carpet, disregard them. They are unimportant.
5. Only go into the kitchen between 3 am and 4 pm.
6. The freezer and fridge are off-limits. You may notice a strange smell coming from them but do not worry.
7. When you go to sleep, you may notice a figure in the window. IMMEDIATELY lie on your stomach and count to 10 out loud.
8. Lock the door whenever you are in the bathroom. You may hear Them trying to open it. In that case, wait until They stop banging on the door.
9. Stay out of the garden. There is nothing there. Nothing.
10. Please do not touch any walls, as They are in them.
11. The knives may have stains on them, but we assure you they are clean.
12. Disregard any screams you may hear.

We're so happy you've chosen us! We hope you'll have a wonderful visit.